By Abdu Labaran Malumfashi.
16-11-2025.
I was going through my contacts when the name of someone I had something in common with, came up. The contact neither smells scent, nor the odour of his xxxx. Like me, he at first, thought that he was a saint, whose xxxx never stinks (fouled the air).
THERE are two kinds of this anomaly. One comes from BIRTH, and the other is SELF MADE. My own is the latter (self made).
THE anomaly started for me about 32 years ago. It began when a ‘mare’ COLD water was NOT cold enough for me to drink. I had to ‘CHEW’ raw ICE, or mix it in water before DRINKING (a kind of Water on the rocks). Then, people used to warn me to stop the practice, otherwise a time would come when I would PAY for it. Since I did NOT understand what they meant, I ignored them and continued with the habit.
And since 1993, I have been suffering from the LOSS of the sense of smell, and therefore one or two silent xxxxx in a public place were not out of place for yours sincerely, and obviously, for other people with such an impairment.
ONE day joined, I joined a CUE, and most of the people already on it left for the reason that I over used my SCENT. I had thought I was being de rigour when I wore the perfume, but, as the saying goes, ‘TOO MANY COOKS SPOIL THE BROOTH’. I had OVER USED the perfume, as my privilege to the sense of SMELL was not there anymore.
AGAIN, I was inside a four-man taxi (minus the driver) when people began to fan themselves in the vehicle. I had of course xxxxxx silently, erroneously believing that since it was silent and ‘odour less’, my companions would NOT notice, and I maintained an innocent expression on my face.
‘NOTICE’ they did, through the foul odour that nobody wanted to claim ‘credit’ for, including the real culprit, the INNOCENT looking me.
SINCE I have realised that I am NOT a SAINT, it has become my UNCOMFORTABLE habit NOT to xxxx in public, for fear that a ROSE will not be the outcome, and since it is not a rose, the outcome will not ‘smell as sweet’.
NOW since majority of Nigerians are FORCED to consume whatever EATABLE is handy, the competition for fouling the air is very COMPETITIVE (intense) among compatriots. So a little blaming, if it is NECESSARY, may NOT be unappreciated.
MAY God HEAL all those who suffer from this, and other ailments. And for the sake of many Nigerian citizens, the HEALING should EXTEND to the COMPULSIVE looters, whose only desire is to ACCUMULATE, at the EXPENSE of some of their COMPATRIOTS.
Malumfashi wrote from ABUJA.
